I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.  –1 Corinthians 3:6

Sunday in Cincinnati

I was so blessed by our most recent trip to Cincinnati where some friends from Texas decided to make the trip along with us. They wanted to see and hear the move of God for themselves, so they took the leap of faith out of their hunger to experience more. While we were there, we did indeed see God move in amazing ways; healings, miracles, salvations, etc., but for me personally, the strongest move was what I experienced in my own heart on the Sunday morning before we left.

Many of you know that I am a very driven person, and I have openly shared that I often struggle with disappointment, in myself and to be honest, with God. I have a very strong imagination and I believe God for BIG things… to the point that I often feel that things end up being “less than” what I thought or imagined they would be. Personally, no matter what I accomplish or experience, it never feels like enough. I have learned that I must be intentional to stop and celebrate things otherwise, I would stay in a state of “Never enough” or “There’s still so much more to do.” While I know that my driven personality is from God, I also know that when it is filtered through my flesh, I struggle to see or feel HOW much God has done through the work He has given me to do.

Well, on that Sunday morning in Cincinnati, we were blessed to be hosted by one of the first people I ever met and had the privilege to minister to in Cincinnati. Her desire was to create a casual atmosphere where we could just talk about the things we have experienced in the Spirit. There were several couples from Cincinnati as well as several from Texas and as the stories began, I quickly realized the magnitude of the ministry God had done through me over the years. Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand 100% that it is the Holy Spirit who moves within hearts, but in this moment, I was getting a revelation of how powerfully my role had been in each of these people’s lives. I honestly had no idea how much God had used a single event to change the entire trajectory of so many lives. Moreover, the connection that was in the room was a beautiful community that was cultivated by Holy Spirit experiences was overwhelming.

Sparks To Fire

One by one, as people from Cinci shared and people from Texas shared, I felt myself being overwhelmed as I realized how each of their moments, which were seemingly small from my perspective at the time I was ministering to them, was a spark that started a fire in each of their hearts. I am saddened to say that I had not realized how much God had done through what felt like simple moments of obedience.

The Bible says that man can plant a seed, and man can water a seed, but God brings forth the increase. (1 Cor. 3) I think we read that and dismiss the power and the necessity of the planting and the watering. For me, I just plant and water, and plant and water, but I guess I am so driven on “what’s next” or “what’s still yet to do,” that I have not taken time to see the harvest God has brought through the harvesting. No wonder I struggle feeling like “It’s never enough” when I don’t stop to look at the long-term increase God produces through our seemingly small acts of obedience.

Just the night before this gathering, it was prophesied that there were “small sparks that fall from behind me that turn into fires after I am gone, and because I am so focused on what is laid in front of me, I have no idea the fires that have spread through my ministry.”  That very next morning, that word was seared into my heart as I listened to how God was creating fires within the hearts of my friends… fires that have led to small groups, ministries, family reconciliations, new careers, healings, dreams, etc. I am still “shook” by all that was shared. I had no idea the magnitude of how God worked through my “little bits” but on this Sunday, He gave me a glimpse and it overwhelmed me to the point of tears.

So many things to take away from this, but for me personally… for the first time ever, I heard in my own heart that Sunday morning these words, “I am satisfied with the work I have done.” I cannot tell you the healing that was released through that revelation. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is indeed still work for me to do and things I have yet to accomplish, and I still have many dreams I want to see come to pass. However, there is now a satisfaction of what has already been done.  I feel MUCH freedom through this newfound spiritual revelation, and I have been released from the “never enough” mentality.

So, here’s to God who takes our efforts in His Kingdom to the next level! I am reminded of the parable in Mark 4 about a man who scatters seed and the seed sprouts whether he is awake or asleep, whether day or night, “though he does not know how.” Like this man, I have just spent my days scattering seed where and when God has told me to with no idea of how those seeds sprouted.

In All Honesty…

At first, I thought, this blog sounded arrogant, but then I realized that it is good to recognize and boast about the way God works through your life, in fact I believe that is where we find our rest from work. Afterall, God rested on day 7, not because He was done, but because He was content. And so, I am at rest as I declare that He has done MUCH through my ministry and I declare I am content… but don’t worry, I am not done;)